Lessons from my 3 year old

I was putting a puzzle together with my 3 year old daughter the other day.  She was very focused on putting on one piece at a time.  She worked real hard at making sure that each piece fit.  In my zeal to help her I tried to add two pieces at a time.  This did not go over well.  I was rebuked and she took the pieces off making sure to put one piece on at a time with the piece she had just removed put right back on but by itself.

She re-introduced me to a lesson that I forgot I had known.  It isn’t always about the outcome.  Often it is about the process.  For her the process of putting each piece on correctly and learning how to do each piece was the key task.  This is a lesson that we as adults should pay attention to and is key in teaching our youth.  There is great learning to be had in the process.  Whatever process.  It is in the moments of figuring out how to do something, how to do it in a specific environment with specific people that teaches us life lessons.  This, in part, is what we are talking about when we tell our kids sports teams, “It is not whether you win or lose but how you play the game.”  It is in how you play the game that you learn how to be with people, how to be on a team, how to gain the skill to do that game.  Sure you may win if the best player on the team gets the ball, the question, the chance... all the time, but then no one learns, including the best player.

My daughter was learning how to put a puzzle together not trying to get the puzzle put together.  A key step in cementing this learning for her, for any one is to reflect on the process.  Asking what happened, what was learned and how does this apply to future experiences.  By reflecting with my daughter I will not only help her learn how to put a puzzle together I will also help her learn how to use process to problem solve.  That is a much more important outcome than a completed puzzle.

So I had to swallow my desire for an efficient puzzle completion and instead revel in my daughters learning through the process.  We had a good time together, also a valuable outcome.